The End of the Cocoon

 

 

“What the caterpillar calls the end, the master calls a butterfly.” Richard Bach

I had my brides dress on that my mother and I made.   My hair was up and surrounded with roses.  I started rising up in the air, seeing myself from far far away.  I became an objective witness to my own case for just one moment in time.  I saw me waiting and thinking of a lie.  I knew exactly what was going on.  I knew that my husband to be, was seeing another woman.  But this me was brave enough to know it, where that me, who tried to fit in this world that stands together by a big fat lie, was not honest enough to admit it.  I, that I that was standing in a handmade lace wedding dress, with fresh cut roses on my head, with as little make up as possible, walking out of the house I had been living with my husband to be for the last 7 years was too proud and too stubborn to admit that someone else was preferred. 

I didn’t know exactly that day, but there was a feeling beside me all the time, that something was wrong. Ignoring that feeling was the mistake. The whole story that drove me to Nepal is actually this short. There is not much more to tell.  It is not worth telling. It is not even a story it is more of a nightmare.

One day I was sitting on the couch at home, and all of a sudden I knew what I had to do.  I had to go find something or I had to stop looking for something.  I had heard somewhere that once you stop looking for something that is lost, it will not be lost anymore.  So if I could only stop looking for my peace, it wouldn’t be lost anymore.

So I packed my backpack.

I said my goodbyes.

All I knew was I was going to the east, to find the light, my own light.

Every step of the way I realized a little more that my light was strong enough to light the whole world!

But instead of shining I closed the doors on it, so darkness consumed my light.

Darkness can only exist in the absence of light.

All you need is to leave the curtains open.

 

Light finds its way…

Mine found its way to Kathmandu, the roof of the world…

Where I spread my wings, starting my new life for the first time….